


Rwby Style Team Fortress 2

by Ashton210



Series: RWBY STYLE [20]
Category: RWBY, Team Fortress 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:01:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashton210/pseuds/Ashton210
Summary: Team Fortress 2 but with Rwby Characters.
Series: RWBY STYLE [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751530
Kudos: 1





	1. Meet the Demoman-Jaune

Jaune Arc holding a grenade launcher running through a hallway with explosions occurring behind him in a badass version, he jumps out the window in a standstill which explosions occur behind him.

Now the scene is to a room full of TNT scattered all around with Jaune Arc sitting at a table with sticks of dynamite around with a bottle of Atlasian Whiskey, Jaune has an eyepatch over his right eye with several grenades located on his vest "what kind of Demoman am I?" Jaune exclaimed in a Scottish accent.

then he pokes the table hard glaring at the camera "if I was a bad Demoman! I wouldn't be here telling you how good I am!" Jaune explained his position.

The scene now shows jaune in front of a building holding his grenade launcher yelling at the enemy "LETS DO IT!" Jaune yelled as he charged the enemy jumping out yet another window with the hallway exploding behind him in a badass version "not one of ya is gonna survive this! HAHAHA!" Jaune yells out laughing as more explosions occurs around him

The scene now shows jaune in the same room filled with dynamite "one crossed wire or one small pinch of salt, one twitch! and KABOOOOM! I die" Jaune dramatic explains the dangers when it comes to making or using bombs.

Another scene shows jaune running through a bridge heading towards a building with a man holding a flamethrower follows him, jaune shoots his grenade launcher at the wall which it bounced up heading towards the soldier exploding him to pieces

The next scene shows jaune chugging the whiskey like it's no tomorrow

Another scene is that a mecha turret is being formed pointing it at jaune the Demoman sending out a series of rockets to which he grins at jaune fires several grenades at the turret that rolls underneath exploding it from the bottom

In the room filled with tnt Jaune slams the bottom of the empty bottle onto the table staring at the camera with what looks like remorse "I got the Merlot on hand...I'm a white fucking Scottish Cyclopes..." Jaune attempts to drink from the bottle again before staring at the camera "SO!"

The next scene shows jaune running through a building with holding his grenade launcher "I'll tell you fine dandies so proud that your cock sure prancing abut" Demoman watches a crew of five figures running up the stairs, jaune turns to run back into the building with the five of them on his tail.

Jaune jumps out a window to see an opportunity so he Fires his grenade launcher for sticky bombs covering the window with sticky bombs "I'm a grim bloody fable! With a unhappy bloody ending!"

Jaune Arc watches the five walks through the window though the see the sticky bombs at the last minute then they watch Jaune salute to them before they exploded into pieces.

Jaune walks up to one of the body parts smiling darkly "now they are gonna have to glue you back together...IN HELL!" Jaune yells at the corpses then taking a swig of his drink

In the room full of tnt Jaune stares at the camera shattering his whiskey bottle on the table "to answer your bloody question, I'm the best bloody Demoman you'll ever meet!"

"Alright Mr...Arc?" Someone off screen in the TNT room causing Jaune to look up over the camera silent as to waiting for what they want "one last question...after leaving blood gulch for the time. Do you have family?"

Jaune chuckled looking over at the broken glass pieces "yes I do lads. I have a wife and 2 kids." "What are they ?" The supposed producer asked the Demoman for the names of family.

"Weiss Schnee of the SDC, fiery little lass" off screen there was a spit take on that fact along with a couple gasps.

"what? You bloody fuckers don't believe me!?" Jaune exclaimed loudly getting up reaching into his back pocket to pull out a photo to show the camera showing Jaune Arc in his 20s in a fine tux with Weiss Schnee in the most beautiful wedding gown with her hair tied back. Both parties look extremely happy "this is our wedding day you producing fucks"

All of them looked at the photo was such shock to see beauty between a commoner Blonde knight and Weiss looks far more mature and smiling such genuinely that she loves Jaune with all her heart.

Someone spoke out off camera very shocked when Jaune puts the picture back into his back pocket to see down again "apologize it's just...nobody knows who husband is but all we heard is that he's a member of the Atlas Military. Now sir what about your kids?"

"Dover and Marigold Arc. Dover is 8 years old and he's attending advance classes in elementary, clever lad. He takes after his mother far to much then just looks no doubt he would be leading the SDC after me and Weiss dies."

"Marigold...heh, darling is 5 years old just started school, lass is a daddy's girl. Everytime I come home she never leaves my feet. I had to have Weiss pull her off just so she can go sleep in her own bed" Jaune finished talking about his kids with a lone tear in his only eye.

"That's surprisingly beautiful sir, now just one thing before we take off and end your interview, anything to add into your notes" the head producer asked though he didn't expect this from the Demoman "there was a major fight when Weiss was pregnant. My family wanted to be the mains in my lad and lasses life but so did Weiss's Mother and Sister, do you know what I did?" Jaune asked as he poked the table once more "I set up a time bomb right in the room and the first one between my sisters and Winter Schnee gets to be the god parent. Sadly though Winter Schnee defused it expertly...clever lass" Jaune exclaimed chuckling.

Jaune then pulled out a grenade for which the camera shook a bit "now get the bloody hell out of me room!" There were screaming in the room and someone shouted " PLEASE!" "NOW!" Jaune yelled again as he got up from the table about to pull the pin which was rewarded with a bout of screams and people leaving the room dropping the camera to show Jaunes booted feet and his hysterical laughter "ahhhh bloody Idgits"


	2. Meet the Spy-Jaune

It was a quite day in a base located in the Mangerie desert where atlas troops are currently located at, within the base is where a man in scouting gear was eating a Vale Cream Pie though this man is known as Mercury Black.

Merc was eating that pie like it was his favorite treat until the alarms blared loudly in a eery red light "alert, alert, Red Spy had breached the base all troops find the Spy" Mercury got up fast that sent his pie onto the floor then he grabbed his sawed off double barrel shotgun running through the base "oh shit oh shit oh shit!".

Meanwhile a man with a rugged face was in the control room taking a drink from the stainless steel flask overlooking a series of contingencies on a wall until the same alarm was heard but louder in the control room "Red Spy Located in the Base" This man Qrow Branwen commander of the Atlas Outpost snorted putting away his flask grabbing a pump action shotgun then running into the hallways dashing and zig zagging all over the halls until he sees a grey haired man trying to pull open a door. "About time I get to see some action Mangerie was far to peaceful for my taste" Qrow exclaimed to himself

"hey help!" Mercury shouted out which Qrow ran over pushing the boy to the side "step aside son, let me handle this" Qrow puts in a series of 4 1s into the keypad but he tries to remember the last number.

Meanwhile a man with dark tanned skin was polishing a large minigun with a smile on his face until he heard the alarm of the red Spy "Red Spy is in the base" Hazel as his name was grabbed the minigun then started running through the base with the barrel hot enough until he came across Qrow and Mercury trying to open the room with the briefcase so he kept running "Out the way!" Hazel screamed slamming into the two men sending them and the door into said room.

Mercury Rolled onto his feet seeing the briefcase still alright.

Qrow also rolled onto the floor but his mobility isn't as good so he rolled right to the blue briefcase getting up using it as a holder "oh it's alright" Merc started the obvious which Qrow got up onto his feet "Yeah it is.." Qrow exclaimed taking out and swigging from his flask "gentlemen" in a sweet honey like accent like it was having sex with jelly and helium had spoken all three men turned to face Jaune Arc in a classy suit and tie.

MEET THE SPY.

Jaune Arc walks into the room with the glass underneath his feet sounding off crunches "so the briefcase is safe no?" Jaune asked while he was carrying a body on his shoulder while Hazel didn't say anything, Qrow answered "indeed" "Yeah it is!" Mercury exclaimed proudly which Jaune smiled at "and did anyone happen to catch the spy on the way here?" Nobody answered that which made Jaune a bit more serious "then we still have a problem" Jaune puts down the body with is the body of Taiyang Xio Long with a Knife in his back.

"I've found our colleagues like this." Mercury took out the knife from Tais back spinning it around "big whoop, such a problem I've killed plenty of spies there a dime of a dozen. Big cheating killers like you" Mercury started as he twirls the knife around hits his hand on the blunt of the knife but it some how hurt the scout sending it down to the ground sucking on the wound.

Jaune chuckled as he picked up the knife twirling it around expertly putting the knife away then giving Merc the knife "I can assure you, the spy's you killed are nothing like me or nothing like the man loose in this building"

Jaune walked past Merc towards a board where the gray haired man watched him "oh what are you? President of his Fan Club?" Jaune stopped looking at Mercury from over his shoulder contemplating something until he turned around lightly pointing his finger at the scout "nooo. That would be your mother!" Jaune then produced a file to which he slams onto the table sending out 6 photos of Mercury's mother in sexual positions with a Jaune Arc while one was jaune with the Mother heading towards a sun set.

Mercury was flabbergasted as he stared at all these pictures with a wide jaws while Hazel in the background watched in mild amusement while Qrow who looked closer to the pictures was a shocked as Mercury "and now he is here to fuck us! So listen up boy" Jaune finished his sentence to the shocked duo as he also smacked Mercury's shoulder then took out a cigarette lighting it and puffed out a cloud of smoke from his nostrils "a pornography starring your mother is going to be the second worst thing that will happen to you today"

Jaune turned around again looking at the board of information while Hazel who was looking at one of the porn pics showed it to Qrow who had several of them, until mercury jumped up taking the pics away from them "hey!"

Jaune puffed out a cloud of smoke until he continued to speak "this Spy already breached our defenses.

A Jaune Arc wearing a red classy suit and tie was located running through a hall before hiding behind a wall with a revolver out looking past the wall seeing Coco Adel tinkering with, jaune then moves out of the cover running towards coco throwing out what looks like a metal box under the sentry sending out an emp destroying the turret. Coco stood back shocked then saw Jaune running towards her she tries to take out her pistol to only get shot out the door that says keep out with Jaune going through shooting his gun again.

Jaune in the blue suit turns around to his comrades pointing at Xio Longs dead corpse "you see what he did to our colleagues!"

Jaune in the red suit was now seen entering a room where an Alive Tai was located who was peering out a boarded up window with a sniper, Tai heard the floors creek so he turned around for jaune to kick The man into the window breaking the boards.

now Tai angry grabs a machete slashing at jaune who dodged the first strike then used the knife to slash at Tai cheek.

The sniper touched his bloody cheek before attempting to slash at jaune who slashed back at James side twice before embedding the blade into Tais back which he screams before he died.

"And worst of all! He could be anyone of us!" Jaune exclaimed dramatically as he looked at everyone one of his comrades

In another Room is where Pyrrha Nikos who is wearing military medical clothing had turned around to find Jaune glaring at her, she attempted a straight punch which he blocked and hooked her close then she sees Jaune going up in smokes to show Jaune is now Doctor Pyrrha Nikos, he punched her on the face where her glasses is now up in the air. He catches the glasses putting them on looking like a complete duplicate of Pyrrha.

"He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could very well be!-" Jaune exclaimed dramatically until he gets his head literally blown off causing Hazel to step back and with Mercury several steps back with one leg in the air

"Woah! What the hell man!" He directed at Qrow who held his shotgun in the same trajectory as he did to kill Jaune "what! He's the red Spy! Look he's gonna turn red annnny minute!" Qrow and Hazel looked forward closer to see any changes while Mercury slowly descended upon them to which he unsheathed his knife expertly not shown from earlier "see! Red!...oh wait that's blood...dammit we still have to find the Spy" "we still have problem" Hazel exclaimed to soldier who nodded "wheres spy?" Hazel asked until Mercury goes up in smoke to reveal jaune in a red suit "right behind you" both blue soldiers looked unto, the screen goes black though there screams of agony is still heard.

The screen lights up once more to show Jaune moving aside the bloody and porno pics to reveal the one that no one from the blue Troops has seen which is a photo of the red Jaune holding close a woman with very bright blonde crazy hair, Yang Xio Long. The woman is holding Jaune very close but what many would not expect was a boy who looked like a duplicate to yangs father tai except for the blue eyes that was obviously to Jaunes genes "Ahhh Mon Cherie" Jaune stands up putting the picture into his jacket leaving the room with the briefcase of intelligence.

-The screen goes black once more-


	3. meet the heavy-coco

Static filled the screen for a brief moment, before flickering to life. An orange gloved hand partially covered the camera screen. A series of displays on the upper and lower side of the screen showcased the battery life and light filters.

To the side, a small red button along with the word 'REC' was blinking.

"Heeeey. You got it." A cool, feminine voice praised the person behind the camera. "Might want to move your fingers away from that glass part. Scroll won't be able to record anything but your hand."

The orange glove quickly shifted from view. "Sorry." The camera veered towards a girl with brown hair, shades, stylish clothing, and a black beret. "I, uh. Never used one before."

"We all have to start somewhere. No sweat." Coco waved her hand dismissively. "Let's get started, yeah?" She brought up her black handbag and shouldered a bandolier. "I guess this is the part where Velvet is going to put in that title card?"

The screen cuts to a well-detailed screen card displaying Coco's emblem and her weapon in its grandest form, followed by fanfare.

_"MEET COCO ADEL"_

A crossed-ax logo, Beacon Academy's logo, was stamped at the bottom center of the screen card. On the bottom right corner, a small scribble crediting Velvet as the creator was printed in cursive.

The camera cuts back to Coco placing her purse on a durable table. The bandolier slung across her shoulder jingled softly as she sat down on a comfy chair.

"The name's Coco Adel. Fashionista extraordinaire." She lowered her shades and grinned. "And this..." Her handbag started disassembling itself, transforming into a gigantic minigun. In the midst of the transformation, Oscar could be heard yelping with surprise. "Is my weapon!"

Coco's weapon was laid out on the table in its fullest display. The fashionista patted the barrel of her minigun covetously, rocking it back and forth. "She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred liens, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute."

She tugged at the bandolier on her shoulder upon mentioning the cartridges.

She then turned her gaze towards Oscar and looked at him intently. "It costs four hundred thousand liens to fire this weapon... For twelve seconds."

He may be off-screen, but one could tell Oscar's jaw dropped upon hearing the costs of just firing the weapon. This weapon, if Coco was telling the truth, was essentially a debt maker!

"R-really?" Oscar gasped.

Coco's serious expression started to crack. "Pffft! No!" She burst out laughing, kneeling over while holding her sides like it was the funniest joke she had ever told. "Oh my god..." She wiped a tear off her face. "Your face. Oh man, Yang wasn't kidding when she said you were fun to tease."

"Well, I'm sorry for being fun to tease," Oscar grumbled.

"Aw, cheer up kid. Jokes aside, I just remember that I have to check on..." As she turned the barrel of her minigun, something caught her eyes. "Something..." Frowning, she pushed her face very close to the unseen side of the minigun's barrel. "Oh my god, who touched Gianduja?!"

Her expression went dark and menacing.

"Is... Something wrong?"

"Alright. Everything is alright." Coco hissed; her face was twitching just so slightly. "Oscar. Cover your ears. I'll be right back."

"Uh, okay." The camera was set down gently on the table, followed by clothing ruffling and footsteps shuffling.

After a brief moment of silence, a very loud roar could be heard across the campus. "WHO THE FUCK TOUCHED MY GUN?!"

The camera screen spazzed out from the soundwaves, the interface flickering and glitching. Every furniture in the room violently trembled before the camera cuts to a colorful, technical difficulty card.

_"TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY."_

A beeping sound could be heard as the camera rebooted to the next scene.

Coco sat on atop of her bed, looking very peeved. "Some people think they can outsmart me; mess with my designer clothes, scratch my weapon, and get away with it." For a brief moment, Coco's face was tranquil. "Maybe..." She sniffed. "Maybe."

She looked at the camera. Her eyes were burning with a mischievous, destructive glint.

A single bullet labeled 'DANGER' was held up close to the camera. "I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet."

An audible gulp could be heard from Oscar behind the camera. "C-C-Coco? Coco?!"

The sound of Gianduja revving up is heard, and the viewers were greeted to a heavily destroyed Beacon with Coco unleashing destruction upon the opposing dormitory wings.

"HAHAHA! CRY SOME MORE!" Coco laughed loudly over the deafening roar of her minigun.

Her eyes were maniacal, her lips barred into a savage, bloodthirsty grin. Coco relished every single moment of this, laying waste to the campus. Each bullet that struck something erupted into a devastating explosion, pulverizing the material out of existence.

Coco swung her body, directing the minigun towards a section of the campus that's less destroyed than the rest. Swinging around her waist was poor Oscar, desperately trying to stop the fashionista from destroying the academy.

"Stop!" Oscar pleaded to no avail.

Oscar's pupils shrunk a bit when Glynda Goodwitch dropped from the sky. The stern deputy was giving them a fierce death glare. She was clearly enraged. Debris around her was swept up into the air, spinning at high velocity in the air like a tornado.

With a quick flick of her riding crop, Coco and Oscar were jolted into the air.

Gianduja was torn away from Coco, preventing her from reaching it. Glynda then pointed a finger at Oscar and pulled him away with her semblance so she could deliver proper punishment to the girl.

"Coco. Adel!" Glynda's voice oozed with fury and hatred.

"I literally have no regrets." Coco looked at peace with her decision.

"DETENTION!"

She threw the girl into the ground with such force, that the camera sitting on the bench nearby flew high into the sky from the impact.

The camera cuts to black.

"YOLO!" Coco's muffled voice could be heard from the darkness.

A valiant ending fanfare started playing as it cuts to Team CFVY posing in front of an ancient temple in Emerald Forest.


	4. Meet the Pyro-Jaune

When the screen popped back, they were met with a title screen. It was a large red rectangle with the words [Meet the Pyro] in a light beige, a small box of matches leaning on one side. This was accompanied by jazzy music to set the style.

The display burned away, showing a familiar pair of boots walking along a scorched earth. They could see a fire ax hanging in his hand, slowly moving back and forth. He walked slowly, stepping on a pair of glasses.

The screen changed again, showing a familiar silhouette of one Ruby Rose. She was sitting in an office like setting, possibly for an interview given the camera angle. "I'm not afraid of anybody!"

"But that thing..." Ruby looked to the side for a moment before she moved forward slightly. "It scares me."

The screen changed to show people running away from a head of blonde hair, straps of a gas mask peaking out from his locks. This new angle showed that Jaune was walking through an old, wooden mining town. He continued to move along the road slowly. Was it for intimidation?

The screen moved back to the office again. This time showing Blake. A key difference was that this Blake's attire was a bright red. She was leaning forward with one held toward the interviewer. "Look, I'm not talking about that... freak! Alright?"

Blake started to fiddle with the microphone on her shirt. She froze for a moment, a realization hitting her. "He's not here, is he?!" She looked around in a panic. She stood up, knocking her chair over in the background, still trying to remove the microphone, "How do I get this fucking thing off?!"

The camera changed to a seen with someone hiding inside a house. The smoky air and dark atmosphere made it difficult to see their face. They recoiled as their door was kicked in. A nozzle slowly came through the doorway, a flickering flame resting on the end, and accompanied by a bone chilling hiss. The flamethrower gave off a small vapor that shifted into smoke, which was used to show a close up of Ren sitting in the same interview room.

Ren let out a deep sigh, "One shutters to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask..." As he spoke, the scene changed to show Jaune turned away and unleashing the torrent of fire from his weapon. As he torched the building, Ren continued from off screen, "...What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty."

Now they could see Jaune's mask. His black gas mask reminded them of old war-era masks. It was a cold and unnerving form he cut. A terrifying figure of death.

The screen morphed through the world and showed a pair of white dots where the goggles of his mask had occupied. They began to swing around and morph together to the screen. It was time to see the world through Jaune's eyes.

_~Do you believe in magic?~_

The world was colorful, almost painfully so. Everything looked like it was made of candy and rainbows. Cute things were scattered about the world. Jaune's flamethrower was replaced with a massive bubble gun that shot rainbows. He was standing atop a hillside, happily spreading joy to the world below.

A little chibi version of Ruby looked up a half-eaten cookie. All the red in her design had been replaced with blue. Noticing Jaune, she jumped over cookie and laughed.

Jaune picked a lollipop out of the ground and started to skip toward Ruby, who in turn ran toward the lollipop. As Jaune jumped up with a spin, the screen cut back to reality. Jaune leveled his fire ax into the head of a blue Ruby as she screamed for mercy, blood splattering the camera. It lasted only a second, but it was enough to shake everyone again.

The colorful world returned to show the chibi Ruby with the lollipop stuck in her mouth. They both noticed something approaching and looked toward the camera. They saw a chibi Blake in blue blinking between spaces between them. She giggled and landed on his bubble gun. Jaune chuckled and pulled out a bubble wand. He blew into the wand and blew bubbles toward Blake. Reality hit again, showing the moment in slow motion as the blue Blake was shot in the face with a still burning flare.

Jaune chuckled then heard something off to the side. He turned to find a pair of brown bunny ears sticking up from a gift box.

A chibi Velvet popped up from the box. She was dressed like a sort of combat medic with a pale blue medical coat. She happily waved to Jaune before ducking back into the box. The lid of the box didn't sit correctly on the top of the rest.

Jaune ran to the box and adjusted the lid to fit correctly. Reality returned, showing Jaune placing a fire ax between the door handles of a barn. A blue Velvet tried to get out of the building, noticing she was trapped. She tried to cry out. Tried to convince the masked man to leave. All to no avail. Jaune unleashed the flame toward the barn. It would take only a few seconds to set the building ablaze. Within minutes, the prisoner within would be burned to ashes.

The colorful world returned, showing Jaune joyfully skipping along with his bubble gun. As he passed blue chibi versions of Yang and Ren, he fired a rainbow to them, creating a living, inflatable unicorn. The two hopped onto the floating creature and flew off next to Jaune. Jaune skipped along passed the screen, showing a group of seven chibi people behind him, all in blue: all of team RWBY, Nora in the lower right corner waving at the camera, Ren still on the balloonicorn, and Velvet.

Reality hit again, showing the waving as the blue Nora was on the ground reaching her hand out while crying for help. The screen followed as the blue Blake ran passed, her arm covered in shards of glass. Suddenly, a blue Pyrrha jumped out of an upper story window of a burning building.Pyrrha crawled forward, grabbing onto the leg of someone standing. She leaned up crying out, "Help!" She hoped for a savior. She found her devil.

Jaune looked down toward her with his cold masked face and brought the flamethrower toward the injured sniper. A sickening hiss was replaced by the sound of the screams of a person being cooked alive. Jaune simply tilted his head, almost as if he no idea what was going on.

The screen changed to show a complete red set of the nine figures included in the short, including Jaune. All stood in a coordinated line, making it clear they were a team. The jazz music hit a loud hook as the screen moved back to show the full team behind a title: [Team Remnant 2].

The screen continued, showing Jaune jovially walking along a candy pathway as the music continued. As the screen pulled back, they saw a descended chunk of spine. A bit farther back and they saw the whole in a blue shirt. Then they saw Yang kneeling on the ground with a hole in her abdomen. All the while, they could see Jaune walking in the candy land through the hole. Her situation finally hit and she coiled up, falling forward. Now Jaune was slowly walking through the burning town. His work was done. The Blu team was dead and burned. But they'd be back. They always came back.

Jaune walked on. He allowed himself a moment to indulge in a job well done. As a nearby windmill collapsed, he let out a whistle. A haunting song carried through his mask, as he sang to the music in his head.


	5. Meet the Sniper-Ruby

The scene starts off on a wide-open and crumbling paved road surrounded by pockets of trees, buildings, billboards and street signs on the far sides of the horribly maintained road. The sun was shining brightly overhead, brightening the dreary-looking scenery.

Suddenly, the sound of a car accelerating and tires screeching could be heard behind the camera shot. A red car bounced through the crumbling road, swiveling a bit to maintain a respectable position within its lane despite the fact that there are no cars nearby for miles to see. Inside the car, a small, snarling Beowolf bobblehead was attached to the dashboard.

A small, dedicated finger came into the shot and flicked the bobblehead.

"Boom. Headshot."

The opening fanfare started up, transitioning to a well-detailed screen card displaying Ruby Rose's emblem in the background. Her weapon, Crescent Rose was displayed in its grandest form, propped up against an invisible wall, along with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk.

A crossed-ax logo, representing Beacon Academy was stamped at the bottom center of the screen card. On the bottom right corner, a small scribble crediting Velvet as the creator was printed in cursive.

The scene cuts back to Ruby steadying the car in an unwieldy manner.

"Being a huntress is a great job, Oscar! Huntsman in your case." She sharply made a right turn, tires screeching. Oscar could be heard whimpering in fear of Ruby's horrid, and inexperience driving skills. "Sorry, Oscar." Another sharp right turn was made, again. "Anyway! Being a huntsman is challenging work, a lot of outdoors... I guarantee you'll won't go hungry!"

"You left out fighting Grimm and criminals."

Ruby waved a hand at him. "I'm getting there."

The scene cuts to Ruby brushing her teeth in her dorm's bathroom, already dressed in her combat attire. On the side of the sink's mirror were three photographs vertically taped; depicting unique looking Grimm, two of which were already crossed out in bright red markers. There was only one that was uncrossed, a pair of leering Beowolves.

Nicknamed the 'Taijitu Beowolves', they were a pair of opposing colored Beowolves; white and black. The white Beowolf had a grayish, red marking mask while the black Beowolf had the standard white and red marking mask. They were similar in appearance, color-wise, to the Creature of Grimm known as a King Taijitu.

"What was I about to say? Oh yeah! Because at the end of the day, as long as the Creatures of Grimm exists, someone is going to want them dead."

The scene switches over to Ruby scoped in on her weapon, watching the Taijitu Beowolves prowling on a scaffold in an abandoned mining facility. She quickly pulled the trigger, shooting the white Taijitu Beowolf in the head, killing it instantly. The bullet continued to pass through the deceased Beowolf's skull and shattered a boulder behind it, sending sharp fragments everywhere.

Several of those stone fragments stabbed into the black Taijitu Beowolf's eyes, causing it to howl in pain. It frantically lashed out at everything around it before stumbling back, falling over the rail and into a pile of containers labeled 'EXPLOSIVES'.

Ruby lowered her weapon and drew in a sharp breath as she watched the Beowolf fell into the explosive containers. "Ooh..."

Upon contact, the entire section of the mining facility exploded, making her flinch. She hoped that this collateral damage doesn't affect the rewards of her commission.

The next scene shows Ruby on her scroll, talking with her father, Taiyang.

"Dad. Dad, I'm not your... Ye- Dad! I'm not your little girl anymore." Ruby sheepishly glanced over at Oscar, making pleading eyes at him. He awkwardly turned around and placed his hands behind his back, pretending he's not there. "I'm a huntress, an adult! Well, huntress-in-training... What the difference be? One is a job and the other is you being overprotective!"

The scene snaps back to Ruby driving the red chair and Oscar filming.

"They don't approve of you being a huntress?"

"I'll be honest with you. My dad and uncle really do care for it. It's just that they often get these sudden episodes of overprotectiveness and that really bugs me and Yang."

The camera cuts to Ruby climbing up an empty watchtower belonging to an old fortress, taking up position on a metallic rail.

"... I think those flock of Nevermores saw me." She said, glancing briefly away from her scope to address Oscar. Two black feathers ricochet off the ledge. "Yup! Yup, they did!"

Several more unnaturally sharp feathers quickly shot by and intensified into a flechette storm forcing Ruby and Oscar to abandon their position. Ruby compressed Crescent Rose into its miniature scythe form, while Oscar extended his collapsible staff that looks identical to Ozpin's cane. Together, they met the Nevermores flechette attack, blocking and reflecting their sharp-tipped feathers.

The next scene was a time-lase image of Ruby repairing and upgrading her weapon. A large plate of chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk were placed to the side of the workbench, quickly being depleted and replenished three times during the duration of the time-lapse.

As the sun sets, Ruby happily wiped a few sweats from her brow and heaved Crescent Rose, pointing it at a target dummy behind her. She tilted her head, lining up her sight into Crescent Rose's scope and took her shot.

In conjunction with the sharp gunshot, the scene transitions to an Alpha Beowolf getting impaled by a large scythe from behind. The Alpha Beowolf was brutally sliced in two, sliding apart and revealing Ruby Rose as its slayer. She watched the disintegrating Grimm with a satisfied expression and twirled her scythe.

The scene cuts back to the red car front seats.

"Feelings? I dunno about their feelings, but you know who has a lot of feelings?" Ruby grinned, steering the conversation away from parental figures to her sister. "Yang bludgeoning people with their golf trophy because they made fun of her hair."

Oscar stifled a laugh. "She did what?"

"Oh yeah. Funny story actually." Ruby giggled, "I'll tell you about it later."

"Sure."

"Anyway. A huntress and huntsman are a profession, and professionals have standards. Three standards, Oscar."

The camera cuts to a moment in Ruby's life at Beacon, showing her teammates a poor sketch of Professor Port with stink lines coming off of him. She grinned brightly, then blew raspberries, making a 'pbbt' sound.

"Be polite."

The next scene shows Ruby keeping track of a rolling Boarbatusk, trying to escape by launching itself off a rock and into the air. The crosshairs steadily stayed on the wild movement of the Boarbatusk. Locking in on her target, Ruby pulled the trigger, shooting the rolling Grimm out of the air.

Ruby than switched Crescent Rose into scythe mode and spun around, cutting through several Grimm lunging at her from behind with a single stroke.

"Be efficient."

The final scene shows the entirety of Team RWBY bringing down a large Ursa Major. The fearsome bear-like Grimm angrily roared and barreled towards them in a final attempt to bring Team RWBY down with it. Something flared up from a cliff hundreds of meters away, catching the Ursa Major's attention. It was Ruby Rose aiming at the Ursa Major with her scope.

She grinned.

The Ursa Major's head reflecting off of the lens of her sniper rifle scope. Her finger tugged on the trigger and fired directly at the camera shot.

"And have a plan to kill every Grimm you meet."

The screen blacks out.

A valiant ending fanfare started playing as it cuts to Team RWBY posing in front of an ancient temple in Emerald Forest.

The scene then cuts back to Ruby still talking on her scroll with her Tai, looking fed up with her father's overbearingness.

"Dad... Dad... P-, yeah... Put... Put Uncle Qrow on the phone!"


	6. Meet the Spy-Jaune

The first thing they saw was a blue alarm bell blaring out. The screen blurred as it moved between panels lighting up, a voice reading out each. " _INTRUDER ALERT! RED SPY! IN THE BASE!_ "

The camera pulled back to show an older version of Yang, about 35-ish, in a blue uniform looking at each of the panels, "A Red spy is in the base?!"

Yang grabbed a shotgun from a weapon rack and started to run down the hall, "We have to protect the Intel Briefcase!" She had to get to the intel room and defend the case from the spy.

"Yo! A little help here?!" A blue uniformed Mercury was trying to open the door in a panic. Unlike Yang, he wasn't aged up.

Yang pushed him to the side, "Alright! Step aside." She started to punch in the code on the key pad.

Mercury had a baseball bat in hand and was waiting patiently for the door to open. Okay, impatiently. "Let's go! Let's go!"

Down the hall, a frantic, blue patterned Nora, also in her mid-thirties, charged down the hallway with a massive minigun spinning in hand, "INCOMING!"

Nora barreled through the two and broke down the door. The room was undisturbed, save for the now broken door. All three screaming as they entered.

Mercury fell in front of the desk and reached up to touch the briefcase. "Hey... It's still here!"

Nora held her gun toward the side in relief, "All right then~"

"Ahem!" The three turned toward a mid-thirties version of Jaune in a three-piece blue suit with black gloves. He had someone slung over his shoulder. "Gentlemen?" It was that upper Mistrali accent again. However, unlike last time, this felt more... suave.

The screen snapped off to show a title card similar to the Pyro version they saw before. It read, in big white letters, [Meet the Spy] with a file folder set to the side and a butterfly knife stabbed into the other.

The screen returned to the scene as the Blue Jaune adjusted the slumped body over his shoulder. He stepped into the room as broken glass cracked beneath his feet. "I see the briefcase is safe."

Yang grinned, "Safe and sound!"

Jaune seemed to think for a moment, "Tell me," he looked between each of the people in the room, "Did anyone happen to kill a Red spy on the way here?" Being met with only shrugs, his face turned sour, "No? Then we've still got a problem." He slammed the body of the Blu Lie Ren on the table with a butterfly knife embedded in his back.

Yang groaned, "And a knife..."

Mercury scoffed, "Ooh... big problem. I've killed plenty of spies." He took the knife out of Ren's back and started to spin it rather gracelessly in his hand. "They're dime-a-dozen backstabbing scumbags." He gestured toward Jaune, "Like you!" He lost what focus his had and the blade hit into his finger. "Ow!" He dropped the knife on the table and started to suck on his new injury. "No offense."

Jaune picked up the knife and spun it in hand with the grace and skill of a professional, "I assure you, if _you_ managed to kill them, they were not like me."

Jaune handed the knife to Mercury as he walked to his side, "And nothing... Nothing! Like the man loose inside this building."

Mercury was far from impressed, "What? Are you president of his fan club or something?"

Jaune turned back around toward Mercury, "No..." He snapped a folder in hand as he glared toward Mercury, "That would be your mother!"

Jaune slammed the folder on the desk and a set of photos fell out from their manila housing. Each was a picture of rather... intimate moments between the Red Jaune and a woman. Mercury was at a real loss for words. Anger, shock, so much going through his head.

Jaune continued, "Indeed. And now he's here to fuck _us_!"

Jaune smacked Mercury's chest with the back of his hand. "So, listen up, boy! Or pornography staring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today." He walked off as Mercury tried to collect the photos, trying to save face.

Unfortunately, Nora and Yang already got some of the photos. Nora showed Yang one of the photos, getting her to jump a little. Mercury spun around and swiped the photos out of their hands, "Give me that!"

Jaune looked off with a glare, as a score started to swell. It was the theme of a man that could be right behind you, and you'd never know until the knife was in your back. "The spy has already breached our defenses."

The screen faded to show a red version of Jaune running down a hallway.

Jaune ran up to a doorway and placed himself against the wall to the side. He peaked in to find a blue Ruby in a hardhat working with her sentry gun system.

Jaune pulled a strange device out of his coat and ran into the room. He slid the item underneath the turret, causing it to spark and shut down.

Ruby shouted out in surprise, "Sentry down!" She noticed Jaune walking up toward her and tried to draw a gun. Jaune, however, was already on the draw, pointing a heavy caliber magnum pistol toward Ruby. One gunshot later, the door behind Ruby flung open, a hole in her hardhat and her blood splattered onto the door.

Jaune moved into the doorway with pistol drawn, another gunshot caused the screen to return to the blue Jaune addressing the trio from before. "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues." The blue Jaune gestured toward the dead blue Ren.

The scene faded to show Ren in a snipers' next with Jaune moving slowly toward him from behind. A squeaking floorboard alerted Ren to his intruder. Ren spun around to try to attack Jaune, but that was difficult in close quarters with a sniper rifle. He dropped the gun and picked up a large kukri, trying to slash at Jaune. The trained spy kept out of reach of the blade for a while before slashing at Ren's cheek, leaving a scar. Jaune spun around Ren with a slash at his side before spinning into a backstab. The force of the blow caused Ren to fall from his height to the ground below as Jaune brushed his gloved hand against his suit jacket.

The scene returned to Blu Jaune, "And worst of all......he could be any one of us."

The screen showed the Blu Coco in a combat medic uniform trying to attack the Red Jaune with a bone saw. Jaune caught her arm and wrapped his own around it, keeping her in place. The camera fell to their feet. Leather dress shoes became heels, red slacks to blue skinny jeans, suit jacket to a pale blue medical coat, stylized blonde hair to a brunette curl. Brown eyes stared back into brown eyes. Coco was staring into her own eyes...

While Coco was taken aback seeing that, the disguised Jaune struck Coco's neck with enough force to knock her out and send her sunglasses upward. As Coco fell, Jaune/Coco caught the glasses and placed them on his face. No one would ever suspect him now.

The scene returned to Blu Jaune, his tone becoming slowly more panicked "He could be in this very room! It could be you! It could be me! He could even be..."

BOOM!

Blu Jaune's head exploded in a mass of blood and bone.

The screen turned to show Yang with her shotgun pointed toward him as the other two had similar reactions to the viewers. Yang pumped the shotgun as she spoke, "What?! It was obvious! He's the Red spy!"

Yang moved toward the dead Blu Jaune with Nora following behind, "Watch! He'll turn red any second now!" After a while with no reaction, Yang poked his foot with her gun. "Any second now..."

Yang grinned, "See?! Red!" Yang reexamined the body, "No wait. That's blood."

In the background, Mercury looked out toward the hall. After a moment, he started to move closer toward the two.

Nora grimaced, "So, we've still got a problem."

Mercury took out the butterfly knife from before, silently flipping it through his fingers.

Yang groaned, "A big problem..."

Yang and Nora sighed over the Blu Jaune's body. Yang nodded and stood upright again, "Alright! Let's go catch this Red spy!"

Jaune spun the blade to reverse grip as he spoke, his personal accent returning, "Right behind you."

Nora and Yang looked toward each other in a shocked realization.

The screen from before, showing all of the team, appeared again with the jazzy music. With each note played, they could hear a stabbing sound as Jaune made short work of the two Blu mercenaries.

The screen returned to show the photos from before of Jaune and Mercury's mother strewn about on the floor, some with droplets of blood. A gloved hand reached down to brush the risqué photos aside to show a simple scene of the two, walking hand in hand. Jaune picked it up and smiled. "Ah... Ma petite chou-fleur~" He placed the photo in his coat pocket and walked off with intel in hand.


	7. meet the medic-Jaune

an old valley. A rocky land with dead trees and a lot of moss on the cliff face. A single crow hopped along one of the large boulders, its head darting around. An explosion rocked the ground, the crow flew off, and a pair of mercenaries jumped down from the rocks. The first was Neptune in a red shirt and cargo pants with running shoes. The second being Yang with an eyepatch, demolition gear, and stuck in a wheelchair with a cast on her right arm.

Neptune slid down the rock, "Move cyclops! Move!"

Then the rain of fire and bombs came into view, crashing down around them as they ran. One round landed near Neptune's foot, causing him to fly forward and onto the ground. He clutched his gut and looked up toward the sky to see three artillery rounds falling toward him.

"WOAH! WHO THE...?!" His yell was cut off by an explosion powerful enough to send him flying. He seemed to impact the screen, cracking the glass. "Medic..."

An answer, they would not have. But Neptune peeled off the glass as a dove appeared on the inside, just in front of the audience. The camera pulled back and into what was either a laboratory or a makeshift medical center.

"No! No more!" They could hear Coco crying out from the central area within.

Then they heard Coco's laughter.

"Wait! Wait... It gets better!" Jaune's voice echoed next to her.

The screen finally showed them both. Coco was lying on a medical chair, her lower torso cut open, but she didn't seem to mind. Dressed in a dark ballistic vest and red shirt with military slacks and boots, Coco showed signed of the fighting outside with bullet holes and some cuts. Jaune, who dressed in a white shirt, tan vest, similar military slacks, and a pair of rounded glasses, was standing next to her with her _actual_ heart in his hand. A strange device sat above them with a strange red energy flowing out.

Jaune continued his story speaking with a distinct accent, "When ze patient woke up, his skeleton was missing! And ze doctor was never heard from again!" Jaune burst out into laughter at the end.

Coco took a moment, processing the end, then followed suit soon after, slamming her palm into the side table.

As the two started to calm down, Jaune placed his hand on his forehead as he leaned onto the table. "Anyway... That's how I lost my medical license."

The screen was now close enough to see to that Jaune wasn't wearing gloves, at that his red hands were actually covered in Coco's blood.

A dove popped up from Coco's open gut, catching both of their attentions.

"Archimedes! No!" Jaune waved off the bird, "It's filthy in zere. Uck." When Coco turned to him, he let out a little chuckle, "Birds..."

Jaune grabbed a device with three prongs from another tray, "Now... Most hearts can't withstand zis voltage." He stuck the device into Coco's heart.

Jaune reached to the side to grab the energy spewing device which was a proto-type Medigun, a long-range energy transfer device capable of healing injuries and repairing all damage. By keeping the device on Coco, she would be able to survive without her heart as the Medigun will regulate her internal biology.

Jaune turned to the side and placed Coco's heart with attached device into the stream, "But I'm fairly certain _your_ heart should..." Bang! Coco's heart exploded on contact with the beam. A chunk of said organ flew off and smacked Archimedes off a perch with two other doves.

The Coco on the table hadn't seen the event, being blocked by Jaune's body, "What was that noise?"

Jaune gathered himself rather quickly, "Ze sound of progress, my friend~!" Jaune kept the beam on Coco, scraped the rest of her old heart off the device, and walked over to his fridge. He opened the appliance to find a larger, more study heart for a transplant. He found his experimental heart labeled [Super Baboon]. "Ah~ Perfect~" He picked up the organ, revealing the severed head of Emerald behind it.

Emerald's head was strapped to a battery of some kind. Suddenly, she looked out toward the screen, "Kill me."

"Later."

Jaune closed the fridge before standing up again, smiling. "Where was I?" He placed the device on the new heart, which was more difficult than before, "There we go~" He placed the heart into the stream of healing, "Come on. Come on!" He started to laugh, going full mad scientist as the heart started to beat.

Coco let out a few nervous chuckles. She'd served with Jaune for a while now and used to his antics. But the doctor couldn't help himself but to experiment for 'the advancement of mankind.' He kept her and the team alive, though...

Jaune stopped laughing and looked away as the heart started to glow. They saw Archimedes return to his perch with splotches of blood on his feathers. The screen snapped back to Jaune holding a glowing, almost metallic-looking red heart. "Oh, zat looks good~" He dropped the organ onto Coco's guts. "Very nice, here!"

Coco looked down toward the heart, "Should I be awake for this?"

Jaune chuckled twice, "Well... no. But, so long as you are, could you open your ribcage a bit? I can't seem to..."

Coco cried out in pain. The combination of her strength and the larger heart being forced into her chest ripped a rib out of place and into her hand.

Jaune placed a bloody hand on Coco's shoulder, taking the rib in the other, "Oh... Don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back..." He tossed the bone behind him.

Jaune turned to his machine, with Archimedes sitting on top. He whispered to his bird, "No ze don't."

Jaune took the machine in his hands and focused the beam on Coco. As the healing beam started to glow brighter, Coco's body started to heal at a rapid pace. Muscles reformed, blood vessels reattach, skin heals, and even her clothes are repaired. Coco was good as new in seconds.

Coco patted her chest and took a breath, testing her new heart as it beat inside her. "What happens now?"

"Now?" Jaune took her hand and let out a sinister chuckle, "Let's go practice medicine~"

Military drums accompanied Jaune as he snapped on his red rubber gloves, put on his medical coat complete with red and gold cross patch, placed a power pack on his back, and readied his latest Medigun. Large blast doors opened, revealing Jaune walking in slow motion with his Medigun as doves surrounded him, fling off in various directions.

After a moment, Coco ran out beside him with a massive minigun in her hands and an ammo belt over her shoulder. Before them was a hellscape of death. Red teammates pinned down or retreating, Blu team turrets and soldiers making it impossible to move. They could see Yang rolling her wheelchair down the landscape toward them crying out, "MEDIC!" An explosion ripped apart the ground beneath her and sent her flying forward.

Jaune adjusted his glasses and activated his pack. He pushed the top lever forward on his Medigun and allowed the improved healing stream to track toward Yang. In seconds, Yang was standing up and tore her cast off, tossing it with the no longer broken arm. She smirked and picked up her grenade launcher, getting back into the fight. Jaune turned and activated the machine again on the still prone Neptune. Neptune appeared from the lower screen with a black eye and a missing tooth. His head shook and he smiled, ready again. His tooth even reformed, complete with a sparkle effect for good measure.

Neptune jumped up, kicking his bat up into his hands. He ran toward the fight an clocked a Blu soldier square in the jaw. Coco had run up behind cover. She may be something of the team's tank, but even she could only take so much punishment.

Coco peered out into the battlefield and saw the wave of Blu running toward them. "Doctor!" She turned back toward Jaune, "Are you sure this will work?!"

Jaunes laughed, "I have no idea~!" Jaune flipped a switch on his pack, causing the needle to move toward the word [Uber].

Coco was wary, but she'd trusted Jaune for years by this point. Whenever no one else needed healing, they were always a team. Coco and Jaune, Heavy and Medic. Coco would take the hits and deal the damage while Jaune would heal her up and watch her back. They'd saved each other's lives more often than she could count. She jumped out from the cover and into the healing beam.

Coco screamed out as her body went into overdrive. An explosion went off in front of her, obscuring the scene. They could hear Coco laughing from within the smoke. She stepped forward, revealing her body had the same metallic red effect as the heart had earlier. She let out a manic laugh, "I AM BULLETPROOF!" Bullets ricocheted off and rockets bounced off without exploding. Coco was invincible as she slowly marched forward, tearing down the Blu soldiers with her minigun.

Jaune ducked down and followed her down the line. Working together, the two ripped through soldier after soldier. Soon, they created a massive pile of bodies. The two walked up the pile, over the Blu bodies, to a vantage point. Jaune stepped atop a soldier's helmet with four general's stars and took his place at the peak of the bodies. The clouds above them had parted, allowing Jaune to be washed in light.

The team photo returned with the new roster and the same jazzy tune.

The screen changed to show the rest of the team waiting outside Jaune's lab/surgery room. It panned over each person: an older version of Oscar playing a guitar, Emerald looking a piece of paper, a masked Cinder playing with a lighter while reading a magazine, Winter standing at attention, Yang drinking from a bottle, and Ruby napping in her chair.

They could hear Jaune in his room, "Zat looks good... Very nice here..."

A moment later, they could hear Neptune. "Hey! Thanks doc." Neptune burst through the door, "Oh man~! You would not believe..." He placed his hands over his heart, "... how much this hurts." His chest seemed to move slightly, and they heard a dove's coo.

Jaune, in the background turned to the door, "Archimedes?!"


	8. meet the heavy-Jaune

A small base by the side of a desert road.

The camera moved forward, swaying with steps, as it approached the door. A hand reached out and hit an intercom button by the door. "Excuse me?" The voice sounded familiar.

The intercom answered her, " _Hello? Who are you? Hell are you doing out here?_ " Now this voice was easy to place. Nora Valkyrie.

"My name is Lisa Lavender! If I can, I'd like to interview you and your team."

" _Alright. Wait! You're not a spy, are you?! You French, girly?!_ "

"Um... No."

The door suddenly snapped open, revealing Nora. She was dressed in a red jacket and dark pants, iconic of her place on the team. She also had a helmet on her head that occasionally covered her eyes, "Welcome in~!"

"Thank you?" They couldn't see it, but they knew all too well the kind of face Lisa had, confusion. Sheer confusion. "Right... So, if I can, I'd like to interview you."

Nora held up her hand, "No can-do missy! I've got to address the troops!"

"Troops? Aren't there only nine of you?"

"Regardless! You'll have to start with someone else! Try Jaune. He's usually around." With no other words, Nora ran off and left Lisa alone.

Lisa was now alone in the headquarters of the infamous Red mercenaries... "The things I do for journalism..." A strange sound caught her attention and camera swung around to a strange device on the floor.

A moment later, and a one-eyed Qrow popped in out of nowhere on top of the device. "WOO!" He chuckled, hand raised with a beer bottle and a case under his other arm. He chuckled before losing his grin. "Uh... Hello?"

"Um... Hi. I'm here to interview all of you for the local..."

Qrow started to drink from his bottle, finishing it quickly. "Yeah? _-hic-_ Good fa you... I'm too drunk. Go to someone else."

"You're always drunk..." The voice of Winter called out from inside the base. The camera spun around to show her in a sharp red suit. "Apologies. But We are quite busy. I'd like to ask you to leave."

Lisa, and by extension the camera, jumped as a hand hit her shoulder. The camera spun around to find Ren.

"Sorry about them. But we need to do our jobs."

"And I need to do mine!" Lisa tried to argue the point.

"I get that. I'm just saying we're busy. But, I think you can get _one_ interview in. Jaune should be free today."

"Okay... Where is he?"

Ren motioned for her to follow him. He led her to a backroom storage, notorious for being Jaune's haunt. "I'll go get him. Just wait here and I'll be right back."

The sound of the door creaking open snapped Lisa to attention to see an absolute behemoth of a man walking in. He was easily 7 feet tall and build like a brick wall. His blonde hair was shaved down and his eyes were narrowed. Safe to say, very intimidating.

Jaune walked over and pulled a folding chair off a rack by the door. He placed it down and motioned for her to take a seat. Once she was, he placed a large box in front of it. He returned with another chair, only to be caught off guard when he heard a growling sound.

Lisa cleared her throat, "Sorry. I've been trying to find this place for so long, I forgot to pick up something to eat... Now, about your interview-?"

Jaune moved out the door without a word. After a minute, he returned with a sandwich on a small plate. He placed it down in front of her, "Eat." His voice was clearly that of Jaune (so, not a blonde Yatsu), but also deeper.

"Oh... Thank you, but I can just get something after I leave." Her stomach, however, disagreed.

Jaune tapped the side of the plate. "Eat. Is good for you. Help you grow large." He flexed his arms to emphasize his point. Now that he'd said more than one word, they could hear his accent.

Lisa, knowing there was no way out this, picked up the sandwich and took a bite. "Thank you."

"Is fine. Sandvich is good for everyone."

"You're quite friendly, aren't you?"

"I do what I can."

Lisa finished the sandvich, taking a breath before addressing Jaune again, "So, I'm here to interview you if I can. My first question for you, Jaune, is what do _you_ do here in the Gulch?"

Jaune stood up from his chair and walked off to the back of the room. He returned carrying a large minigun, bridal style, and placing it on the makeshift table between them.

Jaune sat back down and pulled his chair in. "I am heavy weapons guy." Jaune looked down to his gun and grinned, "And this..." he clutched the handle on top, "is my weapon. She weighs 150 kilograms...and fires 200-dollar custom dual cartridge rounds at 10,000 rounds per minute~"

"It costs 400,000 dollars to fire this weapon for _twelve seconds._ "

Lisa was just as shocked, saying nothing for a moment.

Jaune started to laugh, "But look on reporter's face is priceless~!" He broke out into uproarious laughter.

Jaune started to slow his laughter and calm down again. He took a deep breath as his hand fell to his gun. He ticked the barrel along its path for a second before his face suddenly turned to shock. "Oh my God, who touched Coco..."

"Alright..." Jaune stood up, his shock turning to anger, "WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?!"

Jaune stormed toward the door, "I SWEAR, IF EITHER OF YOU TAMPERED WITH COCO I WILL RIP YOUR TINY BABY SPINES OUT OF YOUR PUNY BODIES!" He slammed the door on his tirade, leaving a large crack on the wall from the impact.

Lisa waited in the room, shaking as she heard the sounds of screaming and bones breaking. She contemplated leaving before Jaune returned, seemingly calmed again. "Um... Was that a good idea? They're your team... Aren't they?"

"They will be fine. Doctor Velvet will patch them up good..."

"Right... And the team opposite you all have the same abilities?"

"As far as I am aware."

"So... what's stopping them from just patching themselves up after your attacks?"

"They always come back, but we can delay them. Push them back like the tiny babies they are. We don't need to finish them off, just keep them back long enough to steal intelligence."

"That's... rather wise. You're quite intelligent."

"I have doctorate in Russian Literature."

"How often do you use that education? I mean... Your job is just to hold down the trigger, right?"

"It comes up more often than you think. We need to think faster than most. Outsmart any one..." Jaune started to gaze off into the world. "Most people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... maybe..." He took a quick sniffle before turning back to her. He held up one of his rounds, "I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet."

The door creaked open, revealing Velvet, dressed in the combat medic uniform, "Jaune. We need you on the front line." She spoke with the same kind of accent Jaune had when was the Medic.

Jaune nodded, placing the bullet back on his bandolier, "Interview is over." He picked up his gun and walked out.

The camera uncoupled from Lisa's perspective and showed the interior of the room over Jaune's shoulder. Lisa stood and bowed her head, "Thank you! Both for your time and the food."

Jaune closed the door and walked with Velvet. The medical officer raised her eyebrow, "You shared some of our food?"

"She hadn't eaten. Sandvich is good source of protean."

"Fair enough." Velvet picked up her Medigun and grinned, wiping off a bit of blood with her gloved thumb. "You ready?"

"I am always ready, Doctor."

"Good~" Velvet pulled her guns lever and set the healing stream on Jaune. They both walked out and into the warzone.

Jaune roared out as he crested the hill into the canyon. He let out a mocking cry before laughing. "CRY SOME MORE!"

The screen went black as he echoed, "Cry some more~"


	9. Meet the Demoman-Jaune

an old warehouse in the middle of a desert area. After a moment, the building erupted into fire and destruction. They heard someone laughing off screen as it did. The camera panned to the side to show Jaune from the back, dressed in a red uniform with a ballistic vest and bandolier over his shoulder.

Jaune's laughter died off with a satisfied sigh. He grabbed something next to him and tipped it up over his lips, revealing it to be a squared bottle.

Jaune finished the drink and tossed it off toward the building. "An' good riddance! Ha ha!"

Jaune turned from the building and walked off to the desert. "s'almost too easy~" He picked up a long sword and slung it over his back. A pair of grenade launchers, one smaller than the other, set on either side of his hips.

Jaune walked off and the camera followed him along. Jaune cracked his neck and the camera moved along to show an eyepatch over one of his eyes. "Gon' ta have to bury what's left of them in a soup can~!" He laughed again and grabbed another bottle, taking a long drink.

The scene faded to a new moment when Jaune kicked in a door to another warehouse. "Job's done!"

A hand reached up and stopped him from going in further. This belonged to Neptune, dressed in the medical officer's coat. "There you are."

Jaune didn't seem bothered, "What?"

"We've been given a directive by Madam Director. We're to be interviewed by a local reporter."

"An' this is important, why?"

"Because it's your turn." Neptune grabbed Jaune's shoulder and shoved him into a side room.

Jaune hopped a bit at the sudden movement but retained some balance. At least enough to stay standing. He looked up to find Lisa Lavender sitting at a table, waiting for him. Jaune sighed and he walked over, taking a seat opposite her. "Now what?"

The scene snapped to a red and tan card with [Meet the Demoman] written over the middle, that same jazzy tune playing. A grenade rested on the side and a sword leaned over the entire set.

The scene returned to show Jaune and Lisa again.

Lisa cleared her throat before smiling in that way reporters often would. The smile of a professional trying to look somewhat friendly and relatable. "Right then. Let's start with your name for the records."

"Jaune Arc." Jaune didn't seem all that excited about the interview.

"Right... And what about your job among the mercenaries?"

"Demolitions."

"So, you tear down buildings with explosives?"

Jaune laughed, "Buildings, sentry turrets, any daft laddie that gets in the way! Oh! And me liver~" He laughed again and took a long swig from a near bottle.

Lisa kept up her grin, but it was obvious she was a in the deep end now. "Right. So, what would make you a good demolition officer?"

Jaune's face turned sour as soon as she said that.

Jaune slowly placed the bottle on the table before glaring toward Lisa, " _What would make me a good demoman_? If I were a _bad_ demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here discussing it with ya, now would I?!"

Lisa, to her credit, was able to backpedal and reword herself like a champion. "I simply mean what trait do you _have_ that makes you so skilled at your profession!" She was very scared though. A drunk man in charge of explosives would do that.

Jaune made the motion to say he was watching her before sitting back in his chair again. "If I had ta say anything, it would be ma nerves."

"Nerves?"

"Obviously. Ya have to have balls o' brass to do this job!"

Jaune continued, "One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch! And KABLOOIE!"

Jaune grabbed the bottle again before taking a very long drink from the bottle. He downed most of the liquid within without breaking.

Lisa watched the scene, uncertain of events. "Um... should you really be drinking then?"

Jaune looked toward her before bringing the bottle down again and onto the table. "Ain't done me wrong yet. Might get me sway'n, but I still get the job done." Jaune took another sip from his bottle before looking over the outer shell of his addiction. "Sides, we got plenty of mad bastards like me in this operation."

Lisa nodded, "I've met the rest of your team... I'm well aware."

Jaune laughed, "That must'a been a hell of an introduction!" His laughing fell off with another long drink from his bottle. After a moment, he slammed the bottle back onto the table.

Lisa knew someone who used to act in a similar manner, an old friend that drowned himself in alcohol to get passed a traumatic period in his life. She could see these signs a little too well. "Are you alright?"

Jaune didn't get defensive or get angry. "I got a manky eye... I'm a French, Scottish cyclops! They got more fecking sea monsters in the old Loch Ness than they got the likes of me..."

The scene faded again to show Jaune on the job. He jumped down from a deck and fired pill-shaped grenades off into the battle raging around him. Three such grenades launched through the air before landing in a sentry turret's nest. A second later, the turret was scrap. Jaune ran along and drew his longsword to lop a Blu merc's head clean off. He eventually found himself on an upper ramp with his launcher ready again. Five members of the Blu team marched toward him: the heavy (Yatsuhashi), the medic (Neptune), the soldier (Ruby), the spy (Fox), and the sniper (Pyrrha).

Meanwhile, the interview with Lisa was continuing on, with Jaune's voice playing through the scene. " _SO! Ta' all you fine dandies so proud! So cocksure! Prancing about with your heads full'a eyeballs! Come and get me I say!_ "

Jaune ran back through a building behind him and found himself leaving through a chokepoint doorway. An idea formed and he grinned at the scene before him. He swapped grenade launchers.

" _I'll be wait'n for ya with a whiff of me old brimstone!_ "

Jaune fired these grenades at points around the doorway.

" _I'm a grim, bloody fable! With an unhappy, bloody end!_ "

The Blu team moved through the door in slow motion, realizing what surrounded them. Small grenades with spikes were stuck to the wall around the doors. Jaune was standing there with his bottle tipped up and drinking.

Jaune grinned and saluted the five as the grenades exploded, killing all of them. The camera moved as if it was one of the Blu member's heads, landing face up. Jaune walked over into frame, laughing. He leaned down to the camera, "Aw... They're goin' ta have to glue you back together IN HELL!"

The scene faded back to Jaune and Lisa.

Jaune finished his bottle, "That all?"

Lisa nodded once before standing. "Yes. That's all. Thank you for your time." With that, she left.

Jaune stayed there for a while before grabbing another bottle. "Hmm... Need to get some more soon." As he walked out, he knocked over a pill that armed as it fell to the ground. "Need to get that good scrumpy~" Jaune laughed but as he tried to stand, he fell to the ground, passing out onto the floor. The jazzy outro followed soon after, as the world closed on Jaune's drunken snoring.


	10. Meet the Sniper-Jaune

The static cleared away, revealing... a desert road.

Just then, an RV drove down the road. The camera switched to the inside of the RV, pointed directly at a bobble head of Jacques Schnee, bobbing with the movement of the vehicle. A gloved hand began to slowly inch closer to the bobble head and then quickly poked its forehead.

"Boom. Headshot." Sudden fanfare shot out of the speakers, accompanied by the the tittle card "MET THE SNIPER".

A low angle shot of the inside of the RV revealed a slightly older Jaune, wearing a strange hat, polo shirt, and a black cargo vest with four bullets in the right breast pocket. He also seemed to have gown large sideburns.

"Sniping's a good job,mate! It's challenging work, out-of-doors..." The image shifted to Jaune brushing his teeth, with three pictures hanging next to the mirror in front of him, all White Fang members, with the one on the top and bottom, already crossed out.

"I guarantee you'll not go hungry, 'Cause at the end end of the day, as long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead." The scene changed to a down scope perspective showing the White Fang grunt from the middle picture firing away sadistically before being shot in the head.

The bullet went through with no problem, but it suddenly went straight into the bottle of liquor being held by another random grunt. The bottle shattered sending the glass shard into their only good eye causing them to panic and slam into a wall, pushing the glass in further in. They suddenly pulled a bouncy-grenade launcher and began to fire randomly while stepping back quickly. He then hit a railing behind them and fell down into an open area full of red barrels, along with the grenades, causing a large explosion.

"Oh wow..."

The scene cut back to Jaune on the side of the road, talking through a pay phone.

"Dad? Dad I'm-... Y... Not a crazed gunman, dad, I'm an assassin! Well the difference being one is a job, and the other's mental sickness!"

"Ill be honest with you- my parents... do not care for it." The camera zoomed out to reveal Jaune climbing up a water tower. It quickly cut to him looking through his riffle on the top of the tower, seeking to the camera man.

"...I think his mate saw me..." Bullets ricochet near him and he quickly ducked to avoid getting hit. "Yes, yes he did!"

A quick video shows Jaune waiting for hours on end, sitting in the same position with his riffle while only drinking coffee and filling jars with... yes...

The screen suddenly showed Emerald being being stabbed through her back in slow motion.

"Feelings? You know what has a lot of feelings? Blokes who bludgeon their wives o death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards:" The camera cut back to Jaune standing over Emerald's body before taking his hat off and putting it over his chest and bowing his head in respect.

"Be polite." Cut to Neo getting shot in the head.

"Be efficient." Cut to both Mercury and Cinder getting headshot.

"Have a plan to kill everyone you meet." The riffle pointed directly at the screen before a flash and bang where heard and the screen went black, then suddenly returned to Jaune on the pay phone.

"Dad, dad... put-... put mum on the phone..."


	11. Meet the Engineer-Jaune

The sound of a guitar as Jaune playing the it. He wore some overalls over a red long-sleeve polo shirt, a pair of working boots, a single glove on his right hand with a pair of goggles hanging around his neck.

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems" A bullet suddenly hit the truck, very close to his head, "not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy." Two more bullets hit the truck, again very close to his head. But he remained calm.

"I solve practical problems."He reached over and grabbed a bottle, taking a sip from it which also revealed a sentrie propped up on a tripod.

"For instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work..." A similar machine appeared on screen and opened fire. This one was more advanced with a pair of Gatling guns coming out of the sides along with the middle gun.

"Use more gun." Another sentry suddenly appeared on screen. This one looked like the first and second one, but with an extra box on on the top that fired rockets. He paused for a moment and listened as the rockets hit their target and smirked.

"MY ARM!" A severed arm landed in front of Jaune as he continued to calmly play his guitar. The only curious thing about the moment was how the sentry in front of him 'looked' down at the arm.

"Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me..." He kicked the severed arm up into the air and the machine immediately shot it. Jaune chuckled as it did. The happy look on his face was suddenly replaced by a sudden seriousness.

"And you best hope... Not pointed at you." The camera pulled back to reveal a small war-zone covered by the corpses of White Fang members while Jaune continued to play his guitar, and his sentries continued to fire.


End file.
